13 things not to say to your bridesmaids

The Smurf is getting married next year! In 10.5 months, to be exact. So over the past year or so (since the engagement), I have been slightly obsessed with everything wedding-related.

I came across this article on The Knot, written by Hallie Goodman, that I thought I'd share for my fellow brides-to-be...

13 Things Not to Say to Your Bridesmaids

The worst things real brides say and how to keep them from coming out of your mouth

1. I'm thinking weekend in Vegas for my bachelorette!


2. My wedding, my wedding, my wedding. How are y-- wait, that reminds me of another thing... about my wedding.


3. Surprise! I just picked out your (crazy-expensive) bridesmaid dress. Now all you have to do is pay for it.


4. Make sure you don't look too good. I don't want you upstaging me.


5. Let's all get tans/Botox/personal trainers before the wedding.


6. Can you have your hair and makeup professionally done on my big day, and (cough) foot the bill?


7. I need you to cover up your tattoo for the wedding, Mkay?


8. Here's my wedding guest list of 100+; please invite them all to the shower you throw me.


9. Next six Saturdays: wedding factory at my place. Mandatory attendance. BT-dubs.


10. I know you're a double D, but I'm loving this sheer, backless bridesmaid dress.


11. Only married couples can bring dates to the reception. My apologies to your boyfriend.


12. I'm really disappointed in how (insert maid's name here) has been performing.


13. It's MY day!

For the full article, go here. You'll have to register to get all the deets, but it's free and then you can benefit from everything The Knot offers!

$99 reality check...

So per my previous post below, I decided to try out Herbal Magic with the help of my $99 Wag Jag coupon. I finally had my first consultation last Thursday where I was introduced to the full program and to my four-week program. I was given a seven-day meal plan that I am to follow religiously, as it is a 'vital part of the program' I'm told. I got the pills, a fancy key chain with my very own personal barcode that I am to scan when I come in for my weigh-ins (three time a week!). Oh, and I have to start a food journal.

I also had the pleasure of being weighed and having my body fat percentage calculated. Super. So my goal was to lose about 40 lbs... which, to be honest, I though may be much for my height. Clearly, I was wrong.

After I got measured, it turned out I shrunk! I was once told I was 5'11 and 3/4, but last Thursday I came in at 5'10.5! So back to this 40 lbs... My new 'coach' reviewed the questionnaire I filled out, consulted some charts, measured by wrist to check the size of my frame (which turned out to be small), and bumped me to 48 lbs!!! Eeeeee....

Then while standing on the scale, I had to put my palms on the metal handprints on the scale to measure my body fat percentage... This machine then sends an electric current though my body and depending how long it takes for it to go through my body, that determines the percentage... I rang in at 34.3%. Fuuuuuuuuck...

The pills are supposed to help break down my body fat and apparently I'm supposed to see results relatively quick. So we'll see... I haven't started the diet yet, I will start tomorrow after I stock up on these damn fruits and vegetables. Right now, I'll just focus on finishing my punch bowl-sized glass of red wine...

(Herbal) Magic to my ears...

Attempt at weightloss # 46652893023...

I'm sure you're all very familiar with Wag Jag - an online resource that offers deals on restaurants, events, accessories, etc. Today, there was an offer for Herbal Magic. Now that's something I haven't tried before...

The offer seemed too good to pass up. For only $99, you purchase a Herbal Magic Success Kit worth $450. The kit includes two bottles of CLA (conjugated linoleic acid that decreases both body fat and inches, mainly in the ab area), one bottle of Lean Extreme, a box of Snacker's Choice bars, four weeks of unlimited personal coaching sessions, a meal plan with nutritional analysis and a $200 gift certificate towards a full-priced 52-week program. Helloooooo... you'd be crazy not to give it a try.

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what to expect. I have heard good things about them though.

Stay tuned for updates!

small glitch in the 'motivation' system...

I am a VERY motivated person. This is especially true when it comes to fitness and you will see why shortly. When I get an idea in my head it needs to happen asap; ideally five minutes ago. I often set goals for myself regarding losing weight, getting in shape, eating well, etc. This usually happens every Monday of the week, first of the month and ESPECIALLY on January 1 of each year.

As soon as I have set these goals, the process begins...

• I get a gym membership - nothing is more motivating than having a barcode tag on your keychain with a popular gym name on the other side. It screams 'you're in shape' and that 'you take care of yourself.' You make fitness a priority and take your goals seriously... right?


• I purchase new workout clothes - as a serious fitness devotee, one must exhibit their athletic intentions as part of their 'gym style'


• New athletic footwear is a must - I recently dropped some dollars on the new(ish) Reebok EasyTone shoes that promise to shape your entire bottom half as you run your errands during the day. They are said to simulate walking (or running) on sand... or something like that.


• I subscribe to fitness magazines - ok, I don't subscribe to ALL of them... I presently only have a subscription to Women's Health Magazine (and a few other ones, but they're not related). Then I make a trip to Shoppers Drug Mart and buy all the other ones.


• I collect magazine cutouts - of various workouts, meal plans, fit people (for motivation)

Then, as someone who has a gym membership, workout clothes, is well-educated on everything from proper lunge form to how many servings of vegetables you should have in a day, I should automatically BE in great shape... right? Without actually having to GO to the gym, USE the workout clothes and put in the slightest amount of effort.

After all the shopping, reading, and magazing cutting, I am way too tired to go to the gym. Then I put on more weight and my new workout clothes no longer fit. Thank God feet don't grow from from weight gain - at least not much - so I don't have to buy new shoes on a regular basis.

Then the cycle begins all over again the following Monday, first of the month or each January...

Independence is so fattening

Last month we celebrated our two year anniversary of living in our house. Just him and I... and our dog. Along with two happy years of homeownership, I celebrated the adult version of the Freshman 15... err, Freshman 30. Would that be the Staleman 30?

Your own home. You do as you please. Decorate as you like. No rules, no boundaries. Possible rebellion. Full time work and no longer coming home to delicious dinners made from scratch by mom. Being a 'big girl' actually results in becoming, well... a Big Girl.

Having a full time job in a semi stressfull industry of public relations, I tend to come home around 7 p.m. or so. At this point cooking dinner with all the food groups that is easy on the carbs and full of "steamed veggies and fish" isn't always the first thing that comes to my mind. What DOES sound glorious is a glass of wine (or a beer, I'm not picky), a quick bite to eat that is usually microwave-ready OR can be ordered and delivered, the couch and catching up on the latest gossip or endulging in some serious reality TV. There is no one there to say anything, to suggest that maybe instead of the vino, I should opt for some H20 and carrot sticks. Maybe at least have a fruit and oatmeal smoothie...

No way Jose.

And you would be surprised how many excuses actually exist to get out of working out! Now it's not as if I need to haul ass to a gym... no, no. The basement is fully sufficient. It has:

• skipping rope
• free weights (2.5 lbs, 5 lbs and 10 lbs.)
• treadmill
• boom box (umm, do we still call these 'boom boxes'?)
• I also own an exercise ball, but I believe I have misplaced it

So realistically, there shouldn't be an excuse.

I've been looking for a one piece swimsuit so that I can start swimming as part of my New Workout Regime. Yesterday I found some and was trying them on... I almost had a meltdown in the change room! Sidenote: got a great Nike swimsuit at Winners for $24.99! It hit me like a ton of bricks... it's time. Game on. The Staleman 30 has got to go!

Here's my game plan:

1. Stop eating crap
2. Run 3-4 times per week
3. Swim 1-2 times per week

Tis all. If I plan too much, it's easier to say screw it. Also, here's some great insight from Andrea Holwegner, a few tips to get the ball rolling in 2011.

Showtime. (right after I finish this glass of wine...)